My dad,
Will, loved catchy sayings. Many were
quoted verbatim such as “If it were a snake, it would have bit me.” “Smile, things could be worse” was a
favorite, said with a goofy grin. Many
of them would have a unique twist, making them his very own. After successfully completing a task which
required ingenuity or a measure of creativity, he would say, “When there is a
Will, there is a way” with the emphasis on his name. “Another day, another dollar” was amended to “Another
day, another dollar and I’m still flat busted.”
“I’m a peace-loving man” ended with, “but I’m slowly losing my patience.” And the explanation “my stomach done lapped
over my belt” followed “I have Dunlap’s Disease”, usually said after a
particularly satisfying meal. At least
one saying was completely his own—“That was a musty meal (or particular food
item); must have some more”.
I
distinctly remember when one of his sayings was said for the last time. It was probably 1964 and my dad had been laid
off from his construction job. Some good
friends of my parents, Billy and Bunny Shultz were at our house for dinner,
whether to commiserate or cheer us up, I don’t remember, perhaps both. They may have even brought the meal. Billy had a dry sense of humor and Bunny was
hysterical. As the meal progressed, the
hilarity increased and soon we were all laughing uproariously. The phone rang, and my dad, thinking it was a
friend whose call he was expecting, answered, “Pine Crest Mortuary. You stab ‘em; we slab ‘em. Stiff speaking.” There was a prolonged silence on the other
end, followed by a tentative, “I’m looking for a Will Wentworth?” Turns out, the caller was a contractor
calling to offer my dad a job digging graves. My dad got the job. Our fortunes were restored. But oh, the irony. He never answered the phone that way again.
